Helloooo there! Thanks for clicking on whatever you clicked to get you here. I’ve been dying to start a blog for awhile and tonight I find myself sort of manless with a raging libido so I figured I’d channel all this unspent lust into something semi-productive. Here goes…

I’m Marcy and almost a divorcee. What this means is that I’m in the “early stages” of a separation so my ex ball and chain (Ebac) and I are still living under the same roof while pretending to our kids and whomever else (we haven’t discussed friends/family yet – adding to my list) that things are normal. This also means that I am not having sex. Admittedly, our sex life was never as steamy as I’d hoped, but now that it’s off the table I’m in a constant state of horny panic. Why don’t people tell you that this is yet another unavoidable consequence of busting up your life in the pursuit of happiness. Picture that word happiness scrawled in blood ala some creepy horror movie.

Honestly, do you know how vast the world of advice/shaming/self-help/judgment is relating to divorce? It’s YUUUUUGE. You can read conflicting articles until you die. But I haven’t seen one with any practical advice relating to sex other than not to date, jump into a relationship or some other one size does not fit all nugget. I want to know what I’m supposed to do NOW at 9:58 pm on a Sunday night when I need to get laid? Use a bright pink vibrator which will leave me halfway sated but all the way humiliated? Give Ebac the eye and erase all of my efforts at setting boundaries over the last few months? Negative. I have no idea or desire to pick up a stranger for sex and I don’t have any cool friends with benefits type people in my life. So here I am… Horny, lonely, desperate for someone to hold me and tell me that I’m pretty while listening to Ebac snore on my couch. Awesome.

I hope this inaugural post didn’t scare you away and if it did, it’s not you, it’s me. Truly. See I’m at this point in my life where I’m tired of accepting the status quo. I’m tired of subsisting in an unhappy and stale marriage for the sake of my husband’s, parents, friends and even my kids feelings. I’m tired of accepting less than what I deserve in my relationships or hiding the fact that sometimes, a girl just wants to get laid. I’m tired of being told that I can have it all, to lean in, or some other shit that works like gangbusters for Sally but almost killed Paula. I’m living my messy, inconvenient and ever shifting truth. Buckle up ’cause I know it’s going to get worse. But, you wanna know something? I’ve survived much worse. I got this.